Handshake deals and their risks
Parents frequently adjust schedules informally, and many such arrangements work for a while. The trouble starts when one parent changes their mind, because the written order is what police, schools, and courts will rely on. A text agreeing to a new schedule may show what the parents intended, but it is not an order. If both of you agree, the change can usually be put into a written stipulation and submitted to the court, which makes it enforceable.
Moving with a child
A planned move is one of the most common reasons for seeking a modification. In many New York cases, a parent who wants to relocate with a child needs either the other parent's agreement or the court's permission, particularly when the move would substantially affect the other parent's time. Courts decide relocation requests based on the child's best interests, looking at the reasons for the move, what it would mean for the child's relationship with each parent, and other circumstances. Moving first and asking later can seriously damage a parent's position. Before raising it, gather information about the new location, the school, the job, and a proposed schedule for the other parent.
If the other parent objects
When the other parent does not agree, the request goes forward as a contested modification, and the court will want to understand what has changed since the last order. We talk through whether an agreed change is realistic, what concessions might make it so, and what evidence would support your request if it is contested. We also check whether child support should be revisited at the same time, since a change in residence often affects it. Any genuine effort to work out the change before filing is worth raising, because it shows the court how each parent approaches co-parenting.
