Which court hears which part
In New York the answer depends on what you are asking for. Divorce, and the division of property that comes with it, belongs to Supreme Court. Family Court can hear support petitions, custody and visitation, and family offense petitions between spouses without anyone filing for divorce. Conduct that may be a crime can also go to criminal court, sometimes at the same time as a Family Court case. A single marital dispute can therefore touch more than one courthouse, and the choice of where to start affects how fast relief arrives and what the court is able to order.
Before anything is filed
Many couples resolve a dispute without litigation, through direct negotiation, mediation, or a written separation agreement drafted with counsel. A separation agreement in New York has formal signing requirements, so a handwritten deal between spouses may not hold up later. While you are deciding, keep copies of bank, credit card, and retirement statements, tax returns, and any messages about money or the children, and store them somewhere your spouse cannot reach. Do not move large sums or hide assets, since courts look closely at transfers made once a marriage is in trouble. If you feel unsafe, safety comes before paperwork, and emergency protection can be requested quickly.
Deciding what you want from it
A first meeting often starts with a simple question: do you want to stay married, separate, or end the marriage? The legal tools follow from that answer. We look at immediate needs such as housing, temporary support, and the children's schedule, and then at the longer questions of property and debt. If your spouse has already hired a lawyer or filed something, bring every paper you received, including envelopes showing when they arrived, because some responses run on deadlines. We also discuss whether counseling or mediation is worth trying before either of you commits to a court case.
