How enforcement works in New York
In New York, a parent who believes the other is not following a custody or visitation order usually files a violation petition in the court that issued it, often Family Court, or Supreme Court when the order came from a divorce. A finding of contempt of a custody order usually turns on whether the order was clear and whether the other parent knowingly disobeyed it. Courts have a range of responses, from make-up parenting time and modified terms to more serious sanctions in persistent cases. Repeated violations can also become a reason to revisit custody itself. An informal agreement between parents to change the schedule does not change the order.
Records, not reactions
Keep the court order, the messages about each missed or late exchange, co-parenting app logs, and any records showing where the child was. Your lawyer may suggest keeping a running record of exchanges from here on, so ask how to set it up in a way that will be useful in court. Avoid responding in kind. Keeping a child to make a point, cutting off contact because support is unpaid, or posting about the other parent online can damage your own position, and in New York support and parenting time are generally treated as separate obligations. If a child's safety is genuinely at risk, the path is emergency relief through the court and, where appropriate, a report to child protective services or the police, not a decision made on your own.
When the other parent has filed against you
If you have been served with a violation petition, read it closely and note the court date, because you are expected to appear and respond. The court will want to know whether the violation happened, whether there was a reason, such as illness or a safety concern, and whether you tried to resolve it. In a first conversation we review the order, the history of exchanges, and the messages on both sides, and we discuss whether the order no longer fits the family's circumstances and should be modified. Taking a child out of state or abroad against an order can also raise criminal and international issues, so mention any travel plans early.
